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Monday, June 6, 2011


UPDATE: This week's Q: In SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD, what plant is visible on the shoulder of Stephen's shirt when Sex Bob-Omb opens for The Clash at Demonhead?

This week's A: A cactus.  This particular section of the movie also features Brandon Routh, once Superman himself.  Congrats to @droidguy1119 for willing his way to the correct answer!


So basically, any nine year-old could sit here and talk to you about how great SUPERMAN and SUPERMAN II are.  It's a given.  And for most people they're the be-all, end-all of the Superman movie universe.  And that's fine.  They kill.

But let us not forget that SUPERMAN III and SUPERMAN IV exist.  One's an...interesting gamble...and the other is likely the epitome of What the Fuck Were They Thinking? moviemaking asshattrery.

I remember being all geeked to see SUPERMAN III when it came out in theaters, and I walked out of it absolutely feeling like I had been transported to a different planet.  But like a planet where an uncle constantly tries to touch you.  As someone who never read the comics and didn't know too much about Superman's detailed backstory outside of the first two films, there was something I dug about him going back to Smallville.  That, of course, was offset by the at-the-time frightening (and still unsettling) proclivity of the movie to spend a bunch of time with Lana's drunk-ass ex-boyfriend/ex-husband/whatever, Brad.  Imagine my pure terror when Brad showed up in WILLOW a few years later as vagabond warrior Airk.  You don't want to be eight years-old and worry that you're watching a movie in which a bearded, animal skin-cloaked mercenary is going to drunk dial a dwarf from a payphone.  But I digress.

At the time, the Richard Pryor role made no sense to me whatsoever; I was only four, so the computer shit went way over my head.  These days, it seems to make even less sense as a story choice, as do the choices made with the cheap Lex Luthor villain set.  And who wants to see a bestubbled Superman, sloshed (GOD there was a lot of alcohol abuse in this movie), bang a blonde hooker?  But the thing that will always stick out most in my mind is how completely terrified I was by the lesbian sister who turned into a computer monster at the end of the movie.  To this day that still makes me cringe a bit, and not just because it's wholly batshit insane on every conceivable cinematic level.

And then there's SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE.  Two words: Nuclear Man.  A few more words: what the fuck?  Really?  Someone wanted to make this movie?  What the fuck?  Who fucking said yes to this?  How the fuck...?  A few more words: they shot this movie for a reported budget of $17 million.  Almost ten years prior, they spent $55 million on the original film (of course, about 72% of the budget went to food and psychiatrists for Marlon Brando, but at least they were willing to put out).  I can think of few movies where the glaring lack of budget - especially compared to previous entries in a series -  is so obvious.  AND they got Gene Hackman back!  I mean really, they did!  Also: Nuclear Man.  I mean, that really motherfucking happened.  All of this.  It happened.

And now, someone gone and ACTUALLY PUT SUPERMANS III & IV ON GODDAMNED BLU-RAY.  So how can I NOT give it away?

I can't not give it away, so I'm going to.  This week, answer the trivia question correctly FIRST and be the only person to get their own copy of The SUPERMAN Anthology on Blu-ray:

Another note I'd like to make: I *really* enjoyed and am a big fan of SUPERMAN RETURNS.  Is it perfect?  Of course not.  But I thought Routh was a fantastic, natural succession to Reeve and I thought the scope and tone of the movie were ambitious.  A lot of people didn't like, which is fine, but I'm glad it's part of this set and I think it has a lot of worth in the series overall.  Wish Singer would have gotten another shot.

Next week we're going to dial it back just a bit - though I will giving away three awesome Blu-rays - but the week after next...oh man.  I'm giving away something epic.  Maybe the most epic thing I'll give away all summer.  You do not want to miss that shit, I promise you.

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