Hi. I'm Geoff. I'm a screenwriter. I'm also locked in a dungeon all summer. Or, really, that's not totally true - I'm just almost certainly not going to see as many movies as I want or need to this season, and that's tantamount to being tossed into a deep, dark cave and left for dead. And if you liked that nauseating explanation, I have some more incredibly trite and hyperbolic metaphors to sell you.
In a nutshell, here's what's happening: my brother is a single father currently enlisted in the Air Force. His specific job training takes place in a specific location that is specifically disinclined to the raising of children. Thus, while he's out being all he can be for the next couple months, I'm (along with my beautiful and imminently patient girlfriend) taking care of his 14-month-old daughter. If you know me, you know how hilarious and horrifying this situation is - for me, for the kid, for the human race. It's a shitshow. If you don't know me, you'll hopefully understand that this means I have a hell of a lot less time on my hands.
And that makes me sad, because that means I have less time to do one of my favorite things in the world: go to the movies. Mewling insularly about this recently, I came to the decision that I can either bemoan my temporary circumstance or make the best of it. And while a couple months of rampant self-loathing and shameful masturbation really SO seem like my cup of tea, I ultimately decided on filling the cup half-full.
I was not kidding about those trite metaphors.
Around Xmas last year I ran a contest on my Twitter (@geofflatulippe) where I gave away a couple copies of GOING THE DISTANCE on DVD (which was released a mere 88 days after it first debuted intheatersohmygodfuckingkillme) by tossing out a trivia question centered around Movies. It was simple, it was stupid, and it was a lot of fun for me. And I was stunned how many people paid attention. And it made me giddier than I can explain to do such an innocuous, insignificant little thing. So, naturally, I repeated myself, and today I gave away a copy of the gleefully psychotic HUMAN CENTIPEDE on Blu-ray. And no, thank you for asking, I DON'T have any qualms about stealing from myself again! So here's my plan:
Once a week this summer, I'm going buy a movie or something movie-related that I love. Or that I loathe. Or that I'm still trying to understand. Or that I haven't seen at all but I've heard good things about. Or terrible things about. Or nothing about at all. Some of these will be small treasures. Some will be big treasures. Some will be crap treasures. Some will be readily available everywhere; some will be items that you've never heard of. Some will have been around for years, and some will have just been released. All will be related to thing that I'm transcendently lucky enough to have started making a career out of: movies.
Next week, we're going to start this off officially with a pretty cool (I think) bang: SUPERMAN: The Motion Picture Anthology on Blu-ray. Where we go from there? I don't have a fucking clue, and that's half the fun of this little experiment. I figure I'll discover as much as anyone else along the way while I'm dipping frequently into my own nostalgia.
Just a couple quick rules:
1. Once a week, a movie trivia question of some sort will be asked on my Twitter page (you'll have plenty of warning there and on this blog as to the time and date, which I will attempt to keep as consistent as possible). The first person whose correct answer I ACTUALLY SEE IN MY TWITTER REPLY FEED wins. We're not rolling with any technicalities here; if I say you won, you won. Don't like that? Tough shit. My contest.
2. Once I've notified you that you've won (which will be done instantly on Twitter), you have 48 hours to DM me whatever mailing address you'd like your prize sent to. Yes, I definitely promise not to stalk, rape, murder you and defile your corpse. Yep. Totally promise.
3. You've gotta be in the US or Canada. I'm not dealing with any international shipping. Sorry, Kashmir!
4. This is not a Follower grab, so you don't need to Follow me to join in, you need only have a Twitter account and pay attention on the day. Or you can Follow me and UnFollow me. It's up to you. I really don't mind either way.
5. This one's on the honor system: if you already own the item I'm giving away, don't want it or don't live where I'm willing to ship it, please don't answer the question. Prithee, I beg. The point here is for someone who loves movies to get something they don't have and that they're truly excited about. It's like the last altruistic thing I'll ever do with my life. Let's not be dicks about it, yes?
Penultimately, a disclaimer: I have no vested interest in this other than to have some fun and to give away some cool shit. I am not being sponsored in this endeavor and have no connections to any business interests. Unless otherwise noted for some odd reason that I can't fathom at the moment, all the stuff I give away will not be stuff I've been given as a freebie or anything that I've accepted as a promotional item. I'll pay for the shipping too. Everything will arrive in new and unopened condition unless otherwise stated. That's it. No gimmicks, no fine print, just hopefully something a bunch of us can have a good time with for ten minutes once a week.
Lastly, a quick note that underscores the spirit of this idea:
Having already decided to set this up earlier in the day, I went tonight to see only my second movie since 1 April: Terrence Malick's TREE OF LIFE. It blew my mind. I loved it instantly and completely, even though I have to admit to barely understanding half of it, if that much. It was a movie that I FELT more than anything else, and it was a pure cinematic experience, certainly my favorite of the year so far. It was doubly gratifying to have had the experience knowing that I'm not going to get out for another one anytime soon. And it made me even more excited to do this. A big chunk of loving movies is the joy of sharing the experience with others, and tonight I thought about all the people that might not get to see TREE OF LIFE if it's never given a significant wide release. And I thought that maybe there's a chance that this summer, I can secondhandedly introduce someone to their own TREE OF LIFE. And that thought gave me a huge boner.
So if you have any interest, Follow my Twitter and check back on this blog every week; I'll reveal what I'll be giving away and what I love/intrigues me about it.
And when you're at the movies this summer and the lights finally go down, remember your old pal Geoff, who's probably